i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
