He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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