ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think a kid would responsible me up
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
