Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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