Define "chronic" masturbator.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
