Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
