Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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