She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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