Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
