You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
