my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
