I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
