Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
