Cold hands, warm shart.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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