laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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