I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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