I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
