She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
