very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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