i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
