This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
