clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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