My nipple is on Facebook.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
