Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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