Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
