quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
