It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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