You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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