I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
