i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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