Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
