So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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