Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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