you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
