this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
