A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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