he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What a dumb baby whore.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize