So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
time to smoke my breakfast
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i now understand why vodka
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
