did you get engaged???
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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