i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
