Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just pee around me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
