I wanna bring you to show and tell
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
