Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
