yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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