you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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