This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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