My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
