honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
