Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
