i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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