I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When did angry sex become our thing?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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