My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize