he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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