you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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