Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
