your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
