DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
