You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
