The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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