So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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