there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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