did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
