Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
