we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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