an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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