you win again, gameday.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
