Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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