i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
