She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
