eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
