i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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