im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
