if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize